Thursday, November 13, 2008

The Viridian City Pokemon Players Present: The Tragedy of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark

ACT IV SCENE II. Another room in the castle.

Enter HAMLET

HAMLET

Safely stowed.

ROSENCRANTZ: GUILDENSTERN:

[Within] Pikachu! Pika-Pika!

HAMLET

What noise? who calls on Hamlet?
O, here they come.

Enter ROSENCRANTZ and GUILDENSTERN

ROSENCRANTZ

Pikachu, Pikaaaaachu!!!

HAMLET

Um, I assume you're asking me what I did with the dead body? Well, I compounded it with dust, whereto 'tis kin.

ROSENCRANTZ

Pikachuuuuuuuuuuuuu, Pika!!!

(A lightning bolt erupts from Rosencrantz' tail, it singes the curtains and gives children in the first two rows seizures.)

HAMLET

(Whispered) Seriously, what's going on, Guildernstern pick up the slack for Rosencrantz.

Guildenstern! The body is with the king, but the king is not with
the body. The king is a thing--

GUILDENSTERN

Jigglypuff jiggaly puff. Jiggaly jigglypuff. Jiggly Jiggly. Jigglypuff Jigglypuff Jigglypuff Jigglypuff.

HAMLET

Forget this, I'm poisoning myself early.

A dead march. Exeunt, bearing off the dead bodies; after which a peal of ordnance is shot off

AND SCENE....

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Remember When Ryan Used To Post Things About Stuff...

Yeah that was pretty sweet...

Well not to worry readers! I'm back! and in my blogging absence (blogsence?) I've stockpiled story upon story that will thrill you beyond your wildest dreams...In the coming weeks you can expect such fantastic stories as..

that time i tried to scare a group of canadian geese only to be viciously attacked, narrowly escaping with my life...

baseball fight! (the beer pour misunderstanding)

Lessons learned from halloween (a report on why running into glass paintings is hazardous)

An in depth report on why charmander is the best pokemon ever!

...and prolly some other things

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Important Moving In / Daylight Savings Time News

So I just moved into my tiny apartment in the city so I can start my new job on Monday.

Obviously I am a very important guy with very pressing matters on my mind.

Namely:


OFFICIAL PETITION TO REMOVE RUFIO AS LEADER OF THE LOST BOYS

Dear Fellow Lost Boys,

Times have been good `tis true. They have also been splendid. But cannot times be better? Are we forced to measure these times under the leadership of Rufio with adjectives? What of verbs, I ask you. I always thought if I was leader the times would be glitter.

So it is with the wish of future glory in mind that I call for a general election (Topical reference to American Election on Tuesday +300 Points)

Yes, an election for the leadership of the Lost Boys. I have as the following my multi-step platform for why Brent would make a much better leader than Rufio Hussein Hook-sama

(Possible reference to Barack Obama`s name? This is all very unclear. Was Rufio of mixed-race in that movie? Does that enhance the reference? He looked kind of Asian I guess....but like a really tanned Asian guy. Uhhh 150 reference points.)

Reason the first: Offical Campaign Chant “Brent, yeah Brent, Brent is the best leader the Lost Boys could have, yeah Brent, `cause he`s the greatest and a real Mav.....erick. Brent!”
Much more catchy than “Ru-fio! Ru-fio! Ru-fio!”

(Wait is that Maverick line a reference to John McCain? Is this supposed to be pro-Obama? Forget this I`m out of here, Love, the Brackets Reference Point-Giver Guy)


Reason B: Our Crocodile Boat has fallen into terrible disrepair under the rule of Rufio. Have you guys listened to that thing? It`s always making these really annoying click-clock sounds. Some of us are trying to sleep on here. Namely, Thud Butt. ZING!!11

{Yes! Finally, it`s Curly-Brackets the Back-up Reference Point Giver`s Time to Shine!! 3 out of 5 stars}

And lastly Reason III: Captain Hook told me if I could lure you all onto his boat as slaves he would give me both a treasure chest and that I could replace Smee as back-catcher on the Pirate Softball Team! Run Home Brent! Run Home Brent!
Um let`s see, fake reason....I need a fake reason....um, I have a comprehensive health care thing that will prevent deaths by being stabbed with swords.....which according to Wikipedia is how Rufio will die. See! I`m caring even to my stupid, fatherless, soon to be enslaved/stabbed opponent.

Remember VOTE BRENT `08!!! YES WE PAN!

{They didn`t have computers in the Peter Pan Universe, nor could they see the future, so that doesn`t make sense.... 0 stars}

[It makes less sense that the blog entry would question itself ]

{Wait.. what, who are you?}

[I`m Square bracket, the bracket reference who gives points to bracket references, now you know how it feels. 1 out of 5 brackets]