Wednesday, April 22, 2009

When's It Gonna Stop Chicago?

The racism towards Native Americans that is...

Now don't get me wrong, I think Chicago's a great city, but enough is enough. I'm sick and tired of sports teams using logo's that are offensive to native americans. Now obviously there are several cities using sports teams with logo's and names depicting native americans, you have the Indians (Cleveland) and the Redskins (Washington). But none of these cities come even close to Chicago.

Let's start with the hockey team, the BlackHawks...




awful isn't it? A decapitated native american head...Back in the day if a native americans head was displayed in a store front it meant it was a place where you could receive money for the scalps of native americans that you had killed. A painful reminder of a horrible time in history, fortunately it's hockey, so I'm not sure anyone has really noticed.

Now let's move onto baseball and more specifically the Chicago White Sox...let's take a look at their logo shall we?




hmm...nothing wrong there right? Just the word SOX written diagonally. Look a bit closer...Do you see it?... Disgusting isn't it? For those of you who haven't noticed let me add a few things so you can see it a bit more clearly.




Do you see it now??? That's right! A one armed skunk wearing a sideways hat setting fire to a tepee! A graphic and chilling reminder that anti-native american sentiments remain strong to this day. Did you know that the number of skunk related tepee fires have stayed the same since this logo came into use? This despite the number of tepee fires decreasing by almost 48% over the same time period. How many tepees must go down in flames before White Sox management smartens up and changes their logo to something more appropriate?

Finally we have the Chicago Bulls of the NBA, one of the most storied franchises in all of basketball, and unfortunately one of the most racist as well. Once again let's take a look at their logo...




"But Ryan, this is just a logo of an angry looking bull, surely there's nothing wrong with it" Oh yeah? Try looking at it from a different angle...specifically upside down!







A Robot on an oddly shaped park bench burning a copy of the Indian Appropriation Act of 1871 with its laser vision!!!!

racism towards native americans, when's it gonna stop Chicago???

Monday, April 6, 2009

RYANANDBRENT UPDATE: RYANANDBRENT NOW INTERNETS MOST PROMINENT RYANANDBRENT

Google it and weep Evansville, Illinois Ryan and Brent, Hellafied Funk Crew Ryan and Brent, Panic at the Disco! Ryan and Brent, and our most hated Ryan and Brent rivals myspace.com/ryanandbrent. You two look ridiculous.

Back on December 5th I complained that we here at Ryanandbrent (Me and Ryan) were only the third most prominent Ryan and Brent on the Internet....which was needless to say an outrage.

How did we make this improbable rise to glory? Through making lots of posts featuring the words Ryanandbrent? Was it because of those stickers I made that say "Google Ryan and Brent and then click on Ryanandbrent.blogspot.com and then read and comment on said blog please, your pals, Ryanandbrent" (I used a small font) that I stuck all over the Royal York Subway Station? Is it because we're just that awesome?

Yes, yes, and yes.

But obviously I would be remiss not to mention the biggest factor, lying to Germans about Gemcraft. Don't worry pals there's plenty more lies to come. I've recently figured out that you can drop your purple stuff onto monster stuff like a bomb, very shortly I will know enough about Gemcraft to actually write a Complete Gemcraft Level 34 Walkthrough.

So what's next for Ryanandbrent? The Senate? Ryan writing something? Stopping the reliance on the crutch that three things is the optimal number of things to list when writing?

Yes, probably not, and never.

Until then....

Guten Tag, ich gebe zu ich war am Anfang entzückt.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

It's TRUE

Re: Incredible True Tales, Totally True This Time
From: Aunt Trudy (2cool2Bauntie@hotmail.com)
To:BMFGMAIL-EVERYONE-CA-NIECESANDNEPHEWS-MAILING-LIST


TRUE STORY ALERT

Dear assorted nieces and nephews, I know the following to be a true story. I got the gist of it from Readers Digest and the rest from the INTERNEST, you should let its inspirational plot be an inspiration and completely applicable to your day to day lives, and more importantly absolute proof of our faith. As a further show of dedication you should forward this message to everyone in your e-mail list book or else face spooky bad luck. SPOOOKKYYYY.

In May of 2007, Steve Trachsel went for a hike in New Mexico's famous Carlsbad Caverns, he had such a wondrous hike marveling in God's creation that he lost track of time and his location. Before he knew it he was lost deep in the dark caves. The only thing Steve had to guide him was the light of faith shining from deep in his heart, and also a kerosene lantern.

Steve didn't panic as he knew that God had a plan for him, like he does for all of us, and that he would make it through alright. As he was calmly strolling in his search for the exit Trachsel froze on the spot.

*RATTLESNAKE TAILS NOISE X2*

He struggled to hold his lantern steady as it swung from side to side the lantern sprayed the light all over the place. It's oscillating beams did not let Steve get a good look at exactly where the sound he heard was coming from. What on Earth could that noise be?

*MORE RATTLESNAKE TAIL NOISE AND POSSIBLY SOME HISSING*

Trachsel was finally able to steady himself and point the lantern at the source of the mysterious noise. IT WAS A RATTLESNAKE!!!! The rattlesnake was leering at him from inside a strangely shaped white rock. As Traschel slowly backed away from the snake he realized that the snake wasn't in a skull shaped white rock at all. The RATTLESNAKE WAS IN A HUMAN SKULL.....AND THE HUMAN SKULL WAS CONNECTED VIA SPINAL COLUMN TO A HUMAN SKELETON SEATED ON THE CAVE FLOOR.

Steve was overtaken by fear, he was scared to turn and run worried he would become hopelessly lost if he did so. As Traschel began to feel that all his faith was gone he noticed that the skeleton was cradling something in its arms. IT WAS A HOLY BIBLE: KING JAMES EDITION.

Trachsel edged forward, the snake rattled again but appeared to calm as Steve reached down and grasped the Bible in his hands. Just as Steve lifted the Bible up high the snake lunged forward to stick its teeth into Steve. Not only would this bite really really sting, the rattlesnake would then inject hemotoxic venom through its hollow teeth that causes internal organs to be eaten away from the inside out. REMEMBER God has made all of his creations in his own image.....air-go God is terrifying.

Now it may have been Steve's Supraspinatus muscle, or it may have been divine intervention, but regardless Steve lifted the Bible faster than anyone has ever "lifted a Bible in front of a rattlesnake in the Carlsbad Caverns" the Holy Tome rose right into the path of the Snakes hemotoxins. The Snakes teeth penetrated right through the front cover of the Bible and came to rest on the 14 page right on Genesis 3:15. Steve was spared from the serpents grasp thanks to staying calm, having faith, and lifting the Bible very quickly so the snake didn't bite him.

Huh? How about that symbolism? Of course we all that that Bible verse the snakes teeth came to rest on was about how God cursed the Serpent for doing some pretty lame stuff. That's pretty deep and miraculous isn't it? Well, I certainly am satisfied about the existence of God and the safety of my soul for all eternity after hearing that TRUE TRUTH.

Oh, and much like the prior lost hiker Steve quickly succumbed to dehydration deep in the tunnels.

DON'T STOP BELIEVING
HOLD ON TO THAT BELIEVING FEELING

Aunt Trudy