Friday, June 19, 2009

Dear Imaginary Readers:

Look, Brent and I have provided you with endless hours of entertainment over the past year and have asked for nothing in return...well that's gonna change, due to the change in the economic climate and the fact that I don't have any real friends I'm not blogging anymore until somebody takes me to the zoo...usually I avoid the outdoors due to fear of bee`s and sharp sticks but I`ll make an exception for this.

we'll have oh so much fun...we can see the monkeys and giraffe's and those little things that peek up really quick and look around and then pop back down really quick. They are really cool. They are like those little dogs that live on the prairie. Cant remember what those ones are called either but they look a little bit like otters. They don't live in water like otters though, they live on the prairies...

I`ll bring a blanket and we can sit in the shade and we can whisper secrets in each others ears...I have lots of secrets...mostly fantasies revolving around Micheal Landons character in the show `little house on the prairie`` I bet he knew the name of those dog-like animals that live on the prairies







Do you ever wonder if the animals at the zoo are actually just actors dressed up in animal costumes? yeah me neither. Though if I had a pet giraffe i would make him a giraffe costume and then I would take him out and say "hey everyone, look at my giraffe" and they would say "that's not a real giraffe, i can see the zipper" and then they would be shocked when they found out it was a real giraffe all along...If I did this often enough than eventually people wouldn't question me about it and would just assume it's a real giraffe. Then I could put my friends in the giraffe suit and sneak them into the movies for free (giraffe's don't have to pay to see movies)

so just lemme know in the comments section the date and time you want to pick me up...

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Help Us Mookie

Killer Whales are misnamed.

It's not really fair if you think about it.

When you hear the name "Killer Whale" it makes you think of a remorseless killing machine whale.

The type of giant whale that enjoys cracking sea turtles shells open. Or laughs while dragging bottlenose dolphins deep underwater until they drown. Or a pod of whales playing DDR right after tipping over ice floes to force baby seals into their mouths.

Of course that's not even close to reality.

Orcas are actually dolphins not whales. Please refer to them as Giant Killer Dolphins from now on. Also, they would be awful at DDR, they are far too large to work the pad thing. Everything else was true.