I hope you don't mind competition "Unnamed Stupid Website" because these zingers will certainly steal your entire readership and bankrupt your company and then you'll have to write applications to write for me. And then I'll be the bigger man and hire all of you and be nice.....for about a week just to get to know your darkest fears to use them against you, and also to get to know your significant others and sleep with them on your respective Anniversaries. Here's step one of that plan, unveil awesome headlines to world.
Leopard Changes Spots, Still Huge Jerk
Scientists Claim Global Warming To End Weather, Every Old Person In World Left With Nothing To Talk About
Stereotypical Asian Health Action Figure Company With Poor English Translation Skills Puzzled By Low Third Quarter Sales. Hope "A Doll Fit Lir! N" To Have Strong Hanukkah Season.
The Onion Lame, Brent's Headlines Totally Funny and Concise Claims Entire Worlds Population.
Guy Everyone Hates Ironically Murdered In Hate Crime
President of Kamchatka Shocked To Learn "Risk" Game Board Not Accurate World Map, Calls Purple Horses and Cannons Back From Irkutsk's Border
Local Man With Chris Hansen Fetish Disappointed To Find That 14 Year Old Boy In Speedo He Met Online Is Actually 14 Year Old Boy In Speedo
Onions Make People Cry Due to Sulfuric Acid, Or Mean Rejection Letters, Not Due To Laughter Like Brent Makes Us
Nigerian Prince Confused As Electronic Philanthropic Efforts Are Miserable Failure
Coyote Preys On Roadrunner in Front of California Primary School, Destroys Childhood Innocence.
Writing Every Word To Start With A Capital Letter Makes My Head Hurt, Maybe I Actually Wasn't Cut Out For This And Getting Shut Down Was A Blessing In Disguise
Local Blog Writer Quickly Rationalizes Rejection In An Attempt To Keep Soul From Getting Trampled At Losing Life Long Dream
