Thursday, October 22, 2009

Deck The Deck With Decks A'Plenty

Hey there neighbour...ooh that's a beaut of a new deck you just put in there. I was wondering what was going on back here, is it normal to have your deck constructed under a big black tarp?

Hi Cranston, this marvel of modern decknology was put together by the top scientists in the field, I was on a waiting list for months before their crew had an opening. This is a brand new DeckPro Deckamyid model. It was crafted out of gems. It's a Gemcraft. You think I'm just going to walk every Cran, Ston, and Nancy through exactly how it's made? Why would I give any of you a Gemcraft Walkthrough?

Well alright then...but I guess you'll have to have Nance and me over for a grand opening barbecue to celebrate your new Deckamire.

Right, so that you can sneak away to the Northwest quadrant, lift up the false bottom and steal the blueprints? It would look ridiculous if we both had DeckPro Deckamyids' side by side. Remember how I put up a basketball net and then you put up a basketball net? We look like the Hard Lime Gold Trotskers. Ridiculous!!!!

Well geez, why don't you just hire some armed guards then for your deck? And then instead of your neighbors you can have the armed guards over for a barbeque. But then they'll be terrible party guests because they're so used to talking on Walkie-Talkies that they'll end every sentence with Over and it'll be really annoying.

Don't be silly, all my armed guards are deaf since deaf people have better eye sight. The better to spot intruders with. Plus they're as silent as a hedge. And then I dress them up like hedges. I always put them on my wifes' team when we play Taboo so I always win.

Oh, and I'm sure you'll put up a big barbed wire fence that will block our view of the beautiful Ray Twinney Sports and Recreation Complex.

I think that'd be too much work, the guard dogs Frisbees would always end up flying over it and we'd have to walk all the way around to retrieve them. But I'll keep it in mind. Now if you don't mind I'm going to deck the deckmas tree with deck o'lanterns. Have a deck deck!

Exeunt

Sunday, October 4, 2009

YOUR COMPREHENSIVE NUIT BLANCHE 2009 COVERAGE

At Nuit Blanche we stopped to see what was going on at the church across the street from the ROM.

There was an art installation there that was a striking metaphor. So striking I forgot to get Pinka to take any pictures of it.....and a Google image search for "nuit blanche art thing" hasn't worked out that well.

On the pulpit there was a tree covered in kites. Each of the kites' strings were entangled with branches and trapped, never to soar again. On the floor, connected to the strings were a number of postcards, each of which had peoples hopes and wishes for the future on them.

We all have wishes for events we want to happen, or things we want to have. But when we throw these wishes into the air like kites they just get tangled in the tree of life. This tangling obscures what life should really be all about.

I'm not sure what that is, I didn't finish reading the displays explanation. I think it has something to do with 1080 Snowboarding for the Nintendo 64. You'll never beat that Gold Snowboard Guy if you just wish about it. You actually have to get out there, on that virtual snowboard and go faster than him and/or do lots of tricks on your virtual snowboard. I suggest using Kensuke Kimachi.

Not wanting to be left out I wrote a wish to be attached to a kite.

"I wish that when I die, instead of being dead forever that there was a way to not be dead. And instead I would live forever.

Oh well....."

And that was about it for Nuit Blanche. Although I also found out I can dance the Charleston better than I can dance any other dance. Which is to say slightly below averagely.