Sports Update: Olympic Version!!!

Since when are 14 year olds allowed in the olympics??? Not only is it making me feel bad that at age 23 I have yet to qualify for a single olympic event, let alone win a gold medal, but looking at a 14 year old boy in a speedo makes me feel like I'm doing something very wrong.

Also, this is synchronized diving, you can't have a 14 year old diving next to 26 year old. They shouldn't just dive the same, but they should look the same. If I were president of the olympics (is that a thing?) it would be a three tenth deduction if you don't look the same. Now I know what you're thinking...wouldn't that give a huge advantage to the asian and african american teams? Well yes, it would, but here's my thinking...the chinese are going to win anyways, and as we all know african americans can't swim.

speaking of racism...you know who's a racist? Hayley Wickenheiser. Now I already knew this because a google search of "Hayley Wickenheiser is a racist" came back with 440 hits. But last night while watching the canadian softball team vs chinese taipei (which for some reason she was a commentator for) she pointed out that the chinese taipei team looked tired....Now I guess she isn't used to seeing asians as hockey is the whitest sport in the world, but seriously, someone needs to tell her that's just how they look. I was half expecting her to comment that the reason they were having trouble hitting was because they were squinting.

oh...ok so apparently Hayley Wickenheiser played softball for canada during the 2000 olympics...which means that her comment wasn't ignorant, but just flat out racist...or perhaps they actually were tired. but either way I think this proves that Hayley Wickenheiser is a man.

Sports Update: Continued Use of Confusingly Similar Blog Entries Enrage Nonexistent Readership

Booked the day off of not watching the Jays yesterday to watch the Jays (unless of course you read this blog Swayne, in which case, I was not watching the Jays). I think this showed great dedication on my part, especially after the ninth inning meltdown the night prior.

This dedication was rewarded as I was granted the news scoop of the century.

Dateline- Arlington Texas

'Tis the sixth inning of a back and forth Jays-Rangers game, Michael Young hits a dangerous curving shot to deep right field, Jays RF Brad Wilkerson leaps at the wall.

Despite this fans best intentions Wilkerson was able to make the catch (trap the ball on the wall)
and bring the Jays one out closer to sweet, sweet victory..

..wait a minute.

This fan looks strangely familiar.











Really Bartman? That was the best you could do? Move to Texas, change what side of the field you interfere on, stop listening to the games on the radio, and grow a horrendous disguise beard?

At the very least he does look much happier in his new locale.

WE INTERRUPT THIS SPORTS UPDATE WITH A FASHION UPDATE:

Look, if you're going to wear a baseball glove to the game there is a simple rule...you have to be under 13 years old. If you're going to make yourself look like a fool the least you could do would be to change which arm you wear your watch on. Am I right ladies? For shame Bartman, for shame.

So yeah, I found Bartman. I am the best.

With this groundbreaking blog entry posted, and the news broken, I expect tons of media attention for finally locating Bartman. It wasn't easy but I did it.

I reach Level 34 in Gemcraft...the cause of my long delay between blog entries.

Sports Update: Covering All Things Sports (And Hockey Too)

Booked the day off work yesterday to watch the major league debut of Canadian Scott Richmond (unless ofcourse you read this blog Wayne, in which case I really did have an ear infection but I'm happy to report that I'm all better now) Unfortunately the TV had other ideas and decided to instead show reruns of poker, which in the end may have been for the best as the blue jays lack of clutch hitting would have angered me and I have been known to take out that anger on anything in range, including CJ, the remote control, and a perfectly good bowl of sun chips.

Back onto Poker...I hate poker, and I don't care what anyone says there is no skill involved, it's just like a game of war, or go fish, or hockey. Not only do I not like poker but I don't like anybody who plays poker. off the top of my head I can only think of those people on the poker commercials, and matts sundin. Matts sundin loves poker, I know this because a google search for "matts sundin loves poker" came back with 6770 hits. (Using this method I also discovered corn flakes kill people, and that pants are made of ghosts)

And in other sports related news...

I beat Carter and CJ in a dunk contest yesterday becoming what I believe to be the first person to ever win a dunk contest while wearing a moustache.

Matts Sundin continues to delay his decision on whether he will play next year, no doubt concerned that playing hockey will cut into his online poker time.

Team Catfish looks to win the cottage cup this weekend in the annual Cottage Softball Weekend Tournament.

And in non sports related news...

Hand sanitizer at front desk develops clog forcing streams of melon scented sanitizer into the face of unsuspecting members causing laughter, false promises to fix it by me.

I reach level 32 in Gemcraft...the cause of my long delay between blog entries