Ryan Memorial Post

I have some bad news.

The worst news.

Ryan is no longer with us.

I guess it could be worse. I mean, I could be dead. I prefer things this way.

I went to his house today, walked around back, and knocked on his bedroom window.

There was no response.

I looked into the window.

The room was empty! Of him....his stuff was still all in there and stuff.

All we have left of him is a note he left behind. Is it a suicide note? Did he suddenly get a terminal illness and draft a letter right before dying? I DON'T HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS PEOPLE. The only answer I do have is that he's dead and that he's never coming back. EVER.

I'm sure Ryan's reading this post wherever he is. His grave, most likely. Do they have computers in graves? Can skeletons read? Why are owls viewed as wise? They don't look that smart to me.

I'll miss you buddy, and all the good times we had. Remember when I hit you in the face with a pie? That was pretty funny.

It's only fitting that Ryan have the last words on his own memorial. Like how James Earl Jones narrated the Mufasa TV funeral special after he killed himself: Hara-kiri Matata.

Without further ado, Ryan's farewell letter.

Hey Brent,

I'm going to be in Thailand for the next 7 weeks going on that vacation I told you about several times. Remember? We even went to the Royal Thai Consulate together to get my visa.

Just wanted to remind you to keep me abreast of any Blue Jays news, because again, as you know, I am in Thailand.

Don't forget to feed my sugar glider Mittsy!

Your pal, who is leaving for vacation, and is not dead,

Ryan


RIP Dear Friend. You will not be forgotten.....right away.