Complete Level 34 Gemcraft Walkthrough (Subtitle): Now 10% More Helpful to Those in Germany

I have a confession guy who twice visited our blog from Munich, Germany....I don't know how to beat Level 34 on Gemcraft. I don't really know why our blog is so high on a Google search for "Level 34" Gemcraft. German word for sorry.

In fact, the truth is that I gave up on Gemcraft after Level One and then just got Pinkag to fake Brent-related Gemcraft glory with MS Paint. But hopefully this newer Brent-related Gemcraft ruse got you to spend more than the zero seconds you spent on our page last time around....and it would also be nice if it lifted us to number one on Google searches for "Level 34" gemcraft.

This post is the first in an entirely new direction for Ryanandbrent. I'm planning on focusing all of my content on the things that people from around the world use as search terms to randomly pull our page out of the morass of blue link thingies.

Well except for the guy from Nottingham, England who found us through a search for: 14 year old boys in speedos pics....I'm not quite desperate enough yet to purchase a Speedo, wax my body down to hairlessness, and then get Ryan to take pictures of me from the collar-bone down in a Brent-related Pedophile Ruse...although I'm probably closer to that desperation point than you'd think.

Anyway, let's cut to the chase...ATTENTION RANDOM PEOPLE FROM SUCH EXOTIC LOCALES AS KOREA, GERMANY, ENGLAND, THE UNITED ARAB EMIRATES AND NEWMARKET: Look if you're going to stumble upon our blog and find it completely does not suit the needs of what you searched for.... the least you could do is tell us we suck via comments.

To up the ante, I will only feed my new pal Goldy III on days when we receive comments about the 34th Level of Gemcraft from people in Munich.

How do you like that pal! Now not only are you stuck on Level 34 and mana-deprived with various monsters digitally scrolling closer and closer to the part where you lose, but you also now have a non-virtual-ticking-fish-death-starvation-bomb on your conscience as well. Not even the mighty Octagon gem can save you from that.

PS Build sufficient monster killing gems so that your gems kill all the monsters before they reach the end of the level.

Although to reiterate, the real monster you should be concerned with is the monster of "a lack of gratitude to Ryanandbrent." Or as you Munichites like to say "Das FishKillerin."

Brent and Ryan Only Third Most Prominent Ryan and Brent on Internet

It says so right on Google....lowly, lowly, third place on a "Ryan and Brent" Google search. Third out of 8,480 is not too bad I guess, but that is a lot of Ryan and Brents. To avoid any possible confusion, here's a quick primer of the Ryan and Brents we are not.

Fake Ryan and Brent 1 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8BjuG-Zrt4M)

WE ARE NOT two guys who have pinned their dreams of stardom on hoping that a girl being almost as hot as a real celebrity will overcome the fact that she can't sing or act or remember the words to her song or have a normal name. "Better Off" Miaa Rose? Really? Well I need to take this "Sweater Off" because I am on fire with all of the putdowns I just used on you and your so-called Ryan and Brent. And you should do the same as you have been severely verbally burned. And then I will put my Sweater back on as the door to my tiny balcony keeps coming open and it's cold in my tiny apartment.

It is shocking how similar we look to that Ryan and Brent though....

Fake Ryan and Brent 2 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_mjtj-Z18s)

Sigh. WE ARE NOT these guys either. How is this more entertaining than Pokemon Hamlet?.....alright bad example. You know what FR&B2? If using puppets to do a cover of a thirty year old Muppets piece is what it takes to make it to the almost top...well then I guess I'll settle for being number three, since I have a little something called comedic standards.
(Please ignore Pokemon Hamlet)
www.ebay.ca/search/funnierthanotherryanandbrentpuppets. Dammit, zero results, NO! Why did I cut and paste that url here! Oh man, and both my backspace and delete buttons are broken. It's like working on a typewriter here. A typewriter that for some reasons thinks those awful puppets are better than me. And a typewriter that saves my brothers past indiscretions for all eternity.

So those are the only two more famous Ryan and Brents out there....but of the thousands of other losers these are my favorite. WE ARE NOT this Ryan and Brent, but oh how I wish we were. (http://www.200b.org/images/ryanwed/) A photogallery of Ryan's wedding to Lindsay! Brent gets dressed for the wedding in a WalMart parking lot. Ryan gets married in a gymnasium, Brent wears khakis and a plaid shirt. Ryan and Brent are Chicago Bears Superfans with matching custom jerseys, Ryan is awkwardly out of place at a bar, Oh Evansville, Illinois Ryan and Brent, so much like us......Seriously, there's even a Kyle in there. Wait! www.200b.org has it's own website, subtitled "Six Crazy Guys, One Crazy Apartment".

Nothing says crazy guys inhabiting a crazy apartment quite like making signs reminding roommates to clean up, or a photogallery of Ryan and Brent fighting, or even Ryan using gravy as shampoo. It must be a Ryan and Brent thing since these guys look exactly like us as well.

And to sum up the rest of the losers, this Ryan and Brent are NOT members of Hellafied Funk Crew, a live hardcore hip-hop band, editors of The FutureStock Review, the founding members of Panic! At The Disco, or avid cyclists, who have logged thousands of miles on two wheels, and whose vision is to revolutionize cycling apparel as we know it.

Come to think of it, since our readership is almost entirely composed of imaginary people, our standing is probably much higher on the leading imaginary search engine: √(-1)

That is the nerdiest joke in the history of time. I think spending all this time reading about Evansville Brent has somehow caused my brain to meld with his. I'm struggling to distinguish my own memories from his khaki-tinted ones. Oh well, good thing I look awesome in plaid. Congrats on the nuptials Ryan!