The End of an Era

Many of you imaginary readers will be disappointed to learn that I officially purchased a cellular telephone device today, ending an incredibly long streak of getting by solely on electronic mail, handwritten letters, and the occasional landline based call.

It all started a few days ago, I was reading an article on teen “sexting” and I was so aroused appalled by this behaviour that I decided right there and then that I would get myself one of these fancy high tech cellular devices and see if I couldn't put an end to this phenomenon myself.

I imagine it will sort of be like that "to catch a predator" show with Chris Hansen, but instead of catching pedophiles trying to meet up with underage teens. I'll catch underage teens trying to send "sexts" to me. At the moment I'm unsure of exactly how I intend to accomplish that (or how my current girlfriend will feel about it) but I can't see any way this could possibly end badly for me.

I can only imagine how proud she'll be of me after finding my phone chock full of teenage girls in compromising positions.

It feels good knowing that I'll soon be making the world a better place...