Friday, December 30, 2011

Beard Present: The Gift that Keeps on Growing (Act 4: The Phantom Menace (It's the Fourth One, I Don't Care What You Nerds Say, It Came Fourth!))

(Boy character now has beard)

B: I don't feel as manly as I had expected....In fact I feel kind of itchy....and patchy....and hairy.

Girl character: Well what did you expect?

B: You know.....I'd have a beard.....and stuff....and it would make me manly.....and look wise....and make plaid shirts look cool on Red Green or Camel Joe.

G: Joe Camel didn't have a beard or a plaid shirt.

B: He had hair on his face, ipso facto: beard.

G: You can always just irritates my face when it rubs against me and I hate hate hate it.

B: Throw away your Orthodox Christmas present? I wouldn't dare. Need I remind you that both Orthodox Santa and Orthodox Jesus Christ have beards. And need I also remind you of my New Years Resolution? Now whenever I have a dilemma I gesture to my bracelet and follow its advice.

(Lifts arm to reveal WWOJCD bracelet)

Would Orthodox Jesus Christ keep his beard? You know what, I really think that he would.

Now, what should we have for dinner?....(looks to bracelet) Ummm, I'm going to have to go to the expert on this one.

(Pulls out phone)

Hey Kyle, can Jews and/or Orthodox Jesus Christ eat lobster?....Kyle I can't understand you, your mouth is too full of bacon. What? Bron't eat crobster? What? No, I didn't forget to charge your PSP screen, I know how bright you like it. Look, I gotta go.



kanysh said...

I want lobster now. Dammit.

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