I realize it's tuesday, but this story happened yesterday and I was too busy playing my new favourite game onslaught and trying to contact the building manager / a plumber, so for ease of writing lets just assume it's monday...
So It's my last week here at the gym, and as many of our imaginary readers have noticed I haven't written a "Tales From Work" installment in quite some time, take this rambling e-mail i received just the other day from an anonymous reader
Dear Ryinandbrant:
what hppened to the "ttales from work" installment? I quite enjyed hearing your veiws aboutr old people such asmyself as well as the wonderful expirements. I apolgise for the typing, but a rcent acident has left me too weak to type with any acuracy...so much rain here, does your gym do rehab?
Well anonymous reader, there's actually a reason why the experiments on tales from work have ceased. In a turn of events that nobody could have ever foreseen, I've actually taking a liking to these old guys, In fact I was going to start a new weekly segment titled "Old People: God's Gift To The World" but as you can see that didn't happen, all because of today...
It started out much like a regular monday. I wrote my usual sports board chock full of errors and waited to see how long it would take somebody to notice that I put ukraine 3rd in the medal standing, and that the headline "hawaii wins little league world series, putting and end to the united states run of 3 straight" doesn't make sense. (nobody did...I don't think anybody reads my sports board)
While I did this I couldn't help but notice one of our members had been in the bathroom for an awfully long time...terrified that he might be dead I was getting up to investigate when he appeared from the bathroom and said "the bathrooms broken" and then continued into the gym area to work out leaving me to investigate what he meant...
unfortunately by "the bathroom is broken" he meant "I just clogged the toilet and made a mess everywhere" I don't really want to talk about anything that happened after that because it makes me cry, lets just say it was a pretty shitty day (pun intended) and I hate old people
...and apparently they can't digest peas.
...and apparently they love them.
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5 comments:
Imaginary readers tag please.
Also while "old people love Morgan Freeman" only brought up one google result, and it was from the sentences "I love old people! Love Morgan Freeman!" I still believe that old people do indeed love Morgan Freeman.
Now since old people make up the largest demographic of people on the internet (no research done to back up claim) maybe we should reach out to them with pro-Morgan Freeman propoganda.
I loved Deep Blue Sea.
Imaginary readers tag inserted...
I actually didn't mind Deep Impact, I just the thought the plot was a little too far fetched. I mean an african american president? really?
I think instead he should have played a basketball coach who has to choose between leading his team "the comets" to a state championship or saving his family from the comet...
either that or a gang member of some sort
peas are gross.
I think the fact that I briefly confused the Samuel L Jackson super smart shark feature Deep Blue Sea with Deep Impact would add the "man, don't black people all look the same" stereotype to these comments.
I've never really gotten that one, have these people never watched a hockey game? Everyone looks the same.
Wait...are you telling me that Morgan Freeman, and Samuel L Jackson are different people???
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