The Worlds' Biggest I-Pod (A Photo Essay)

My I-Pod no longer will load new material onto it. It's quite traumatic for me as I mainly use it to listen to podcasts and thus have a constant need for new sustenance, it's like a personal auditory IV drip.

I however have come up with a new solution, I haven't patented it yet, but I call it "The Worlds' Biggest I-Pod." And now for the first time ever here is photographic evidence of its design splendor.



Quite a beaut isn't she? Just like an I-Pod it plays all the music and podcasts I desire. And its battery power lasts for a couple hours, plenty of time to get to the gym and back.

There is a downside I hadn't considered however. While walking downstairs in the witching hour with my WBIPOD I became blinded. The WBIPOD has a much brighter display than a RSIPOD (regular sized) and it doesn't automatically turn off after a few seconds. I couldn't see the steps in front of me, even with tentative baby steps I became unsteady and almost fell to my doom.

I put the ungodly memory behind me long enough to recreate the chilling tableau.

(DRAMATIC RECREATION)

As you can see I am blinded by the light.
I was going to make the area surrounding me dark to indicate that it was nighttime. But it turns out I have no idea how to use the fill-in tool in MS paint.

As such there is a helpful ghost (Mortimer) there to remind you that it is very dark apart from the screen on my WBIPOD.




(DRAMATIC RECREATION BASED ON ACTUAL EVENTS)

Oh no!

I am cut open on the chin and even after falling the WBIPOD is still shining in my eyes, giving me no respite from everlasting day.

On the plus side, the WBIPOD is still trucking, it appears no worse for wear after my almost trip headfirst down the stairs.


Despite its weaknesses at night I am still very pleased with my WBIPOD during the day and as a workout tool.

Here I am coming home from a run, headband in place and bandage on my horrific wound.

(Full disclosure: I tried to take my WBIPOD to the local gym to get pictures of me shooting hoops and having fun. But since my brother isn't a member he couldn't get in and I had to ask a staff member to take my picture.
Following questions of "wait, what are you doing?" And statements of "No, we don't allow picture taking in here, we've had problems with people taking pictures of children." I was forced to return home, alone, and defeated, and pictureless.)

When everyone has a WBIPOD and I am famous they'll be begging me to come back and take a picture at their gym.

You'll see.